Remember Maria / by John G. Howells.

  • Howells, John G.
Date:
1974
Catalogue details

Licence: Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0)

Credit: Remember Maria / by John G. Howells. Source: Wellcome Collection.

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    108 REMEMBER MARIA research purposes, retrospectively obtained information is virtually valueless. Confidentiality should be broken only in dire circumstances when the person concerned, or others, in calm judgement, would regard it as reason¬ able. The easier it is to break confidentiahty the less people will work towards preserving it. There are many ways, short of breaking trust, of helping people. Neighbours may dislike reporting people for neglect of children. A little time getting to know the mother may soon give the mother what she wanted; a friend she could talk to — in trust. That discussion can lead to the mother accepting professional help. A trusting relationship makes it possible for her to convey all the information necessary to help her. Naturally, weight is given to positive evidence only. Not to know whether or not a foster father is adequate is not positive evidence of his suitability. Children can often convey their views, if rightly approached, but one must be sensitive to a child's position. If he has known one home only and one lot of parents and is asked whether he would like to leave his home, he will invariably say 'no'. He will cling to what he knows, naturally. Only when he has been to more than one home can he make a judgement. A child often prefers to select between two 'goods' than a yes or a no. 'Is your mummy nice?' elecits 'yes'. But if asked 'Is your mummy nice or very nice?' then a 'Nice' indicates doubt, and yet he has been loyal. In dire circumstances confidentiahty may have to be broken. It is best done with the awareness of the person concerned, who later will often acknowledge the good sense of it. In dire circumstances it is not appreciated by the sufferer if we let him, in a drunken state or a diabetic coma, fall into a river. SELECTION Everyone who needs to use professionally a close interaction with another person should be selected for the capacity to make a warm relationship. This applies especially to staffs of day nurseries, nursery schools, schools, play groups, nannies, foster mothers, adoptive mothers and all the helping professions. It even apphes to parents ultimately; when couples can admit their inability to give parenting, they may put aside a sense of duty to have children — or to seek to repair a marriage relationship by having a child, or to use an infant as an emotional lollipop. Wise selection is particularly important in the helping professions. In these fields we suffer with a lack of knowledge about many aspects of human behaviour. Book learning is of little value compared with a