Learned quackery exposed, or, Theory according to art : as exemplified in the practice of the fashionable doctors of the present day / by Samuel Thomson.

  • Thomson, Samuel, 1769-1843.
Date:
1836
Catalogue details

Licence: Public Domain Mark

Credit: Learned quackery exposed, or, Theory according to art : as exemplified in the practice of the fashionable doctors of the present day / by Samuel Thomson. Source: Wellcome Collection.

Provider: This material has been provided by the National Library of Medicine (U.S.), through the Medical Heritage Library. The original may be consulted at the National Library of Medicine (U.S.)

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    When Mr. A. or B. is sick, Go fetch the doctor, and be quick;'r The doctor comes, with much good will. But ne'er forgets his Calomel. He takes his patient by the hand, And compliments him as a friend; He sits awhile his pulse to feel, And then takes out his Calomel. He then addresses patient's wife, Have you clean paper, spoon, and knife? I think your husband might do well, To take a dose of Calomel. He then deals out the fatal grains, This, ma'am, I'm sure, will ease his pains; Once in three hours, at sound of bell, Give him a dose of Calomel. He leaves his patient in her care, And bids good-bye, with graceful air: In hopes bad humors to expel, She freely gives the Calomel. The man grows worse, quite fast indeed, Go, call for counsel! ride with speed! The counsel comes, like post with mail, Doubling the dose of Calomel. The man in death begins to groan, The fatal job for him is done; His soul is winged for heaven or hell, A sacrifice to Calomel. The funeral charges must be paid, And under ground the body laid; The lawyer executes the will, And pays the charge for Calomel. Hydrarp. now plays its deadly game, Since Calomel has lost its name; And does the fatal work fulfil, As faithfully as Calomel. Physicians of my former choice, Receive my counsel and advice; Be not offended, though I tell, The dire effects of Calomel.